I’m a fervent enthusiast.
When I raised the seeds I found from the bird droppings, I was delighted to find the flowers that were in the old books had bloomed. It became unbearable in the end so I took the roasted roots. I’m alone, so with no one presiding, I can’t be given the boiled seeds to drink.
In a narrow room of the high tower, on a totally familiar hard bed, my consciousness gives out.
Ah, but it’s okay.
Let’s die and disappear like this.
Now, I have the sensation being sucked in ──
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
I was awakened just before my consciousness disappeared into the darkness.
I’m on the bed.
But it’s not on the hard bed of the tall tower. It was lying on a warm luxurious bed it seemed. A bad premonition crossed my mind. A cold sweat traced down my back.
Next to the bed, there was a maid.
She is the maid who has served me since I was a child. She adored me very much because I cured her mother’s illness with the magic that I was studying as a hobby.
She often brought me a gift after I was locked up in the tall tower. I heard from the gentle prison guard, who was a citizen of the fief, that you were to be married soon ──
Seeing the situation, I stared at the maid.
She gave a tender smile.
It was the smile she gives whenever I was in despair for not being loved by my fiancé or family, and she pretended not to notice me crying alone in bed.
“You were still having nightmares, weren’t you? I heard your scream, and even though you didn’t call, I came out of the waiting room. …… you are sweaty.”
The maid wiped off the sweat particles that covered my face.
I hugged her.
I can’t stop crying. After all…… I came back again. At that time, I was desperately seeking the love of my fiancé and family, knowing that I would not receive it. The wounds of my heart, which he had intended to heal in the peaceful life of the tall tower, open, and I began to spit out muddy blood.
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
A little bird with bright-colored feathers called out to me, and I reached my hand out.
When I was in the high tower, this one visited me every year.
Yes, I think it’s this one. Even birds of the same kind have similar wing patterns and become inconsistent, but this one’s pattern is always the same. It’s like a scar that healed from a large old wound.
“Ufufu. Do I look good with the jewel you gave me?”
“Oh, it suits you very well…. It smells kind of awful.”
“My sister is doing her research in the backyard. That nonsense is just a shame on my house.”
“So it’s like that, is it? Hahhaha!”
The wind still carries the voices of my sister and my fiancé from the courtyard to me in the backyard.
Even though it was the third time, my chest still hurts.
Is it because I love my fiancé? I wish the love that couldn’t be returned would wither, just as plants that couldn’t be given water would wither.
Before my death recovery, my engagement was broken and I was trapped in a high tower because they had seen through the moron I am, who dedicated my magic research in search of love no matter how much they trampled on me.
If I had gone out there, I might have been noticed by other aristocrats and merchants who might realize my worth.
In fact, the servants and people of the fief have introduced me to outsiders. I couldn’t believe them, but in the end I stayed in search of the love of the Earl’s son and my family, which I couldn’t get.
“Oh, do you feel relaxed on my hand?”
I don’t remember doing anything that I liked so much.
When I first met it, I couldn’t understand how to handle small animals and I was about to squeeze it, so the maid stopped me. I also studied what it liked to be fed, what gets absorbed and what comes out as excrement for my research. I am a strange woman. I wonder if the food will change the color of the feathers.
However, this one is so generous that it left droppings in my hands. … or is the small animal like this to anyone?
“My lady, why don’t you take a break?”
A maid appeared in the backyard, and the little bird flew away.
I might be special after all. I feel sorry for the maid, but I’m just a little happy.
The maid tried to wipe the droppings the little bird left in my hand—
“Wait a minute.”
The droppings of the little bird contained seeds.
It was a familiar thing, and the maid smiled and listened.
She sensed my joy.
“Is it the seed of the southern plant?”
The flower’s infusion festers the skin, a chopping of the stem inflicts pain, and roasting the roots makes a poison that stops the heart, but boiling the seeds is said to create a drink that can heal anything.
There is no doubt about the effect. Because I used it with my own body.
…… If this is the case. With this, could they love me? If my sister’s face festered, my parents were in pain, my fiancé’s heart stopped and I could help them, would you love me, I wonder? Would you tell me I’m needed?
The bird which had jumped from my hand was perched on the branch of a tree in the backyard.
Come to think of it, I always felt like it was there.
The pattern of that one’s wings may be a wound engraved in my heart. I’ve been avoiding looking straight at it. I didn’t want to see it, and I didn’t want to show it. I thought that it would be unexpectedly beautiful if the wound of my heart had the pattern of that one’s wing.
“You seem happy, My Lady.”
“Yes, it seems so. Very happy.”
In the Southern Empire, there is also a magic system that allows small animals to use magic. I am certain it should be called a familiar.
I might have been a puppeteer from the beginning.
Or maybe my heart created this one on its own. Clutching the seeds I received from the little bird, I left the backyard with the maid.