I liked a male colleague from my company, Shen Luo a gentle and responsible person. His manners were elegant, and he often helped me with work.
I was fascinated by the person who, like me, was a male.
Unfortunately, he had a girlfriend.
His girlfriend also worked for our company. She was my junior who often came to me for help whenever she encountered any difficulties — a simple girl with a pure heart.
If she knew what was running in my head about her boyfriend, would she still have smiled at me like she did every day?
One day, at a company function, I pretended to be drunk and followed Shen to the men’s washroom.
”I have been in love with you for a long time.” With a drunken look, I leaned on his body, taking this opportunity to touch his chest.
He was shocked, but recovered his composure quickly and whispered in my ear, “You are drunk.”
I couldn’t care less about anything anymore as I moved my hand inside his shirt, stroked his chest and said, “You’ve never had the taste of a man, have you? I’m willing to be your paramour; I will keep it a secret and will not let anyone know about us. I won’t give you any no trouble, I promise.”
His expression contorted with loathing. He rudely pushed me away and spat, “I am getting married to my girlfriend! And I hate gays, especially those without self-esteem!”
It was like a bolt from the blue. The ever graceful gentleman was yelling at me.
No wonder. Who, as a man, would be willing to be teased by a disgusting gay?
Since then, I went to work as usual. He and his girlfriend greeted me normally. He seemed to have forgotten how he rejected my confession. Soon after, I began to indulge myself inside bars, spending my nights with different men. All feelings of love gradually faded.
On my birthday night, he appeared at my door, holding a gift in his hand and laughing as if nothing had happened.
”Happy birthday,” he said softly.
I was flattered because he had never spoken to me in such a gentle tone since the confession.
”It’s late if you have got something to talk about we will do it tomorrow.” I kept an indifferent face. There were many men with more poise and style in the bars.
Shen Luo got surprised by my attitude: “Are you angry about last time? In fact, I don’t hate gays. At that time, I got angry because you were degrading yourself, so I rebuked you!”
I suspected whether he took the wrong medicine. “If you fought with your girlfriend, please go to the bar and get drunk. Don’t come here and make fun of me!” I slammed the door shut and locked it.
”Xiao Zheng! Don’t be angry, okay?”
“I know you like me the most.”
”You won’t change your mind? Xiao Zheng?”
Luo Shen stayed near my house for the whole night. He must have gone crazy.
When I went to the company the next day to confront him, he put on a disgusting look and said in a cold voice, “Don’t bother me.”
On the way back home from work, I didn’t know where he popped out from, and as if nothing had happened, he smiled: “I know a good restaurant, we…”
I glared at him: “Do you take me as a fool? I don’t want to see you again, scram!”
I turned and prepared to leave, but he grabbed my arm: “Please, accompany me, Xiao Zheng.”
He must have schizophrenia!!
I was pulled into a restaurant. When he was ordering the food, I dialled his girlfriend’s number: “Li Yu, has your boyfriend gone mad? Please come and take him away!”
Li Yu’s voice was filled with doubt, “What are you talking about Xiao Zheng, Shen is right next to me!”
I stared at the man who was ordering food and barked, “Stop joking. I don’t have time for this right now. I am at the XX restaurant, come and take him away!”
Just when I was about to hang up, there was a familiar voice in the receiver: “I am Shen Luo, what are you talking about?”
The “Shen Luo” who sat opposite to me, smiled and asked, “Who is calling Xiao Zhen?”
– I love you, but can’t be with you. If I can split myself in two, I will be with you.