Rainy Day, To You

A grey sky. The sound of drops of rain.
To the world outside the window turning grey, I sighed to such a scenery.
It’s raining today. Wetting a solitary heart, it was a day where the chilly sky would stir the feelings of loneliness in one’s chest.
Such a day, I wonder just what is she doing.
Always with a smile, always kind, always beautiful. Always taking my hand that girl.
If it’s that girl, then even on this quiet, rainy day, almost certainly her sparking smile would never fade.
If it can’t be done all the time when it rains, it should be done exactly because of the rain.*
Everything is the way you make it.
With her, no matter the situation, she would become the spice of enjoyment.
It’s because she’s such a person that I-
“Ah”
As soon as I thought that, I realized that my cheeks were getting hot.
Looking at a nearby mirror, my hot cheeks where slightly red.
Before that, when I first looked at the mirror, more than anything I was surprised to see my own idiotic maiden-like appearance.
Embarrassment suddenly filled my heart and with all my strength I turned my face away from the mirror.
In the room with no one else but me, and to tremble with shyness, how foolish am I.
But, it can’t be helped. There’s no use fighting back. These feelings…
These feelings that cant help but overflow. It’s something that can’t be confined
I can’t control it, nor do I want to control it. That’s because I. But she’s.
“Kana”
Kana, already went far away.
To a place out of my reach. To a place I could not be besides her.
But surely, Kana would still be smiling. Good at finding fun things to do, the Kana that’s good at making everyone happy.
Even without me, Kana is bound to…
My thoughts became negative. I understand my heart is frozen with gloominess.
I’m an idiot. I think and think but it can’t be helped.
To be forgotten, to not know when to give up, forever and ever my heart will chase after Kana.
“Kana…”
My my warm cheeks, cold tears raced down.
The name, said by a teary voice, was the one I loved but isn’t here right now. So I thought.
“What’s wrong?”
That’s why from the beginning, I thought it was a ghost Kana’s form.
“Ka…na…?”
Right now, I wonder what type of face I was making.
A happy expression? A painful expression?
Probably, it wasn’t either. A surprised expression. An embarrassed idiot’s expression.
“What’s so surprising? You called didn’t you, so that’s why I came. No matter how many times I rang the doorbell, you didn’t come out so I used the duplicate key you gave me earlier.”
“E, eh?”
“What’s wrong?”
“W, what’s wrong isn’t it! Today you’re going overseas! Because of your parent’s circumstances you must go far away, right…”
“Don’t get angry while crying. Here, a handkerchief”
“U, un…”
With her usual smile, she handed over the handkerchief.
I wiped my tears with it then, and without moving grasped it firmly.
“Calmed down abit?”
“Un… but, why”
Hearing my question again, Kana smiled after a brief pause.
“Well Honoka-chan had the face that she didn’t want me to leave”
“T, that kind of reason…”
“I wonder if it’s because you’d say that kind of reason. I think it’s a very important reason”
After Kana said that, to my hand that was tightly grasping the handkerchief, she gently placed hers on top.
Soft, warm, it was a nice feeling.
“Ne, Honoka-chan. How do you feel right now?”
“That sort of thing, I won’t say it”
Be quiet my thumping heart.
It was not just my hot cheeks, I knew it was spreading through out my entire face. I, my heart was beating very fast right now.
“You’re not going to say? Then, can I guess?”
“Idiot”
“No good?”
“It’s no good”
“Still, as expected I want to hear it from Honoka’s own mouth”
Moving closer from an already close distance, Kana whispered into my ear.
My warmth, my breathing, and my heartbeat, Kana surely felt all of it.
I can’t lie. More than that, I don’t want to lie.
My feelings are always, towards Kana. I want her to know more.
“Happy”
“One more time”
“Happy”
“One more time”
“Happy. More than anyone else, more than anything else, I’m happy to be besides Kana. That’s why-“
“I’ll always be besides you”
Kana’s arm held me tight, and like that we slowly fell onto the bed.
Along with a soft impact, my mouth overlapped with Kana’s. It’s a bittersweet flavor.
Once our lips separated, Kana let out an impish smile.
I, with my blissful face tried my best to look angry.
“That last part was supposed to be my words”
“Honoka-chan’s words, should be slightly different than mine”
“…a”
In the moment I faltered, Kana tenderly kissed my forehead.
Really, an idiot. As it is, I’m happy enough to die. Like this, my heart is about to burst.
“I want to hear it, what you were going to say”
“Even though Kana interrupted me”
“Will you not say it?”
“…no. I’ll say it. Let me say it”
I don’t just love her in my heart.
My legs, my mouth, my entire self, to the person I love; to tell her that I love her even more now.
This feeling, I want her to receive it.
“I love you. Stay with me forever”

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