In Love and On Fire chapter 4

Chapter 4

“It’s not here.”

I’d finished my shift and was changing my clothes when the phrase slipped out of me. Tsuno and Harikawa responded in turn:

“Brains?”

“Inhibitions?”

If it had just been Tsuno, I would have shut him up with a quick, “Cut it out,” but the captain was involved, so I restrained myself to a correction. “My good luck charm.”

It was the charm I’d gotten from the lady next door, and I always left it in my locker.

Before, when I changed into my work clothes and went on duty, I would see the charm on the little hook and get fired up, but after I’d learned she was someone else’s wife, I’d taken it down. I thought I’d just tucked it away, but now I couldn’t find it.

“I thought you took it home? Who steals somebody else’s charm, anyway?” Tsuno said.

Now that he mentioned it, I did remember thinking that I didn’t want to forget it in my locker, so I’d taken it home. I knew I’d put it in my pants pocket. But I always checked my pockets when I did the laundry, and it hadn’t been there.

“Oh hey, didn’t you take it home on the day we ended up drinking with you guys?”

“Yeah, that day you pissed off those two girls and they went home, and then Niimori got smashed,” Tsuno said, disagreeably.

Harikawa looked me up and down with barely concealed curiosity. “Niimori got smashed? That’s weird. In public, at least, he never lets it get that far. Although,” he added, “whenever you’re involved, he cuts himself loose, in a good way, I mean.”

He was so plastered, I thought he was loose in a rather bad way, but I wasn’t going to talk back to a superior, so I nodded ambiguously and fumbled through my memories of that day.

By the time my shift had ended, I’d changed, and finally made it home, it’d been about eleven o’ clock. I was a little sleep deprived, since I’d been in the middle of a nap when we got a call, and I’d ended up falling asleep on the sofa still in my regular clothes, and then I’d gone out to the bar without changing. Thinking back on the day’s activities, the most likely place I’d dropped it was Niimori’s house.

“That charm’s something you got from someone who broke your heart, though,” Tsuno said. “Do you even still need it?”

“Don’t say stuff like that,” Harikawa said, scowling at Tsuno. “Who you got it from doesn’t matter. Losing a charm is a bad omen.”

Honestly, I didn’t put much faith in that kind of stuff, either, so if it hadn’t been from an unrequited love, I probably wouldn’t have paid it much attention myself. But bad omens were just an excuse. I didn’t want them to know how attached I still was to it.

Tsuno was smart enough, he probably suspected as much anyway, but if he found me out for sure, it was all over.

“Is it really that big of a deal?”

Tsuno looked like he didn’t understand a bit of this tripe, but Harikawa stared at him and put his hand on the charm he had with his car keys. “My wife made a special trip to Akita to buy mine,” he said lovingly.

I excused myself from my romantic superior’s presence and headed for the parking lot via the back exit.

The parking garage was on-site, but it was on the other side of the training building, so there was a short walkway to get there. I hadn’t set one foot on that walkway when I spotted Niimori in his civilian clothes, at the end of his shift just like me.

“Niimori!”

He kept right on walking like he hadn’t heard me. What a hateful jerk.

“Hey, wait up, will you. I need to talk to you.”

He still ignored me, but I caught up to him, and when I fell in line next to him, he turned to me with a look like he hated me from the depths of his soul.

My foul ups always put him in a good mood, too. What was he making that face for just when I was about to improve his day.

Might as well do whatever I wanted.

“You want to talk to me?” he said. “Need me to introduce you to some guy you can graduate from your virginity with?”

“You can introduce both of us.”

“I’m not a virgin.”

“I don’t swing that way! I’m not interested in men!” I yelled, and then remembered how much it bothered me whenever we fell into this same pattern, and warned myself to calm down. The second I got caught up in this guy’s pace, I’d lost.

“This isn’t about that, I was wondering if I’d dropped my good luck charm at your house.”

“You think I’d notice something that tiny? You know I’ve been looking for the remote to my lights for like three years now, right?”

“Why would you brag about that? Clean up, already! Wasn’t being tidy your strong point?”

When one of us couldn’t be neat and tidy in the academy, we all had to take responsibility, and we were made to do squats and pushups.

It was a form of corporal punishment. But we were told it was mental and physical strengthening, so we had no choice but to obey. Even in the dorms, we were checked like your average prisoner, and if there was any problem, everyone in the dorm was held responsible. Even those of us who hated it ended up paying attention. And in the midst of all this, Niimori had been neat and tidy since day one, so he was put in charge of the checks.

Thanks to the fact that he came down harder on transgressors than any of the instructors, he escaped any punishment for having to keep his own room spic and span. All I wanted was for him to use those abilities to better himself.

“Work and private are two separate things,” Niimori said, as if that were the world’s most obvious statement.

Even in my amazement, I started to say, “Well if you happen to find it,” but in an apartment where you can’t find a remote control in three years, you’re never going to find a charm barely five centimeters across, so I thought better of it.

“Well, can I… come over and look for it?”

“You, come to my house again, you must be joking. Anyway, good luck charms are pointless.”

I ground my molars against one another, pulverizing the curses that threatened to burst out of my mouth.

Of course I wasn’t looking forward to going into that disgusting room.

“It’s important to me. And anyway, aren’t you the one writing the character for ‘person’ on your palm every time you go into a fire?” 1

Actually, I’d only seen him do it once, but considering how extremely old-fashioned and ineffectual a practice it was, and that it was Niimori doing it – the same Niimori who never seemed to show any mental strain – it had left a strong impression on me.

Niimori apparently hadn’t thought I would notice his childish little habit, because he got a surprised look on his face.

He was obviously discontented about it, too, but perhaps because he wasn’t interested in discussing the matter further, he reluctantly agreed to have me come to his house.

“But go right home.”

“I’m not eager for a long stay in an apartment like that. I feel my life getting shorter every time you’re near me,” I said, and Niimori looked like he wanted to make a retort, but in the end, his mouth stayed closed.

No matter how mad he was about it, he had to have been self-conscious about how dirty his rooms were.

Firemen went to work about eight in the morning, and ended their shift the following day about nine in the morning. Then you were off-duty until the day after that at eight AM. Of course, in the event of a disaster, that cycle went all to hell, but otherwise, it was a job that afforded you a comparatively large amount of free time. He had plenty of time to clean, why was his apartment such a mess.

As I was thinking about all of this, Niimori quickly got into his car.

He pulled out without a word to me, and I put on my helmet and got on my motorcycle, which I’d parked next to him.

I took off, resolving that if I didn’t find my charm, I’d take it as a sign and forget about her completely.

I got stopped at nearly every light on the way, so I figured he’d gotten there ahead of me. I parked my bike in the motorcycle area and headed for Niimori’s apartment, and sure enough, he’d arrived first, and was now standing in front of his door.

But he wasn’t alone. He and that pro-wrestler type guy were arguing again.

“That guy from the other day again? You’re so easy you attract all the clingy types, is that it?” I asked.

I just wanted to finish my task as quickly as possible and go home, I did not want to get involved any further in other people’s love affairs.

I was watching them go round for round with “Don’t leave me,” and “Go home,” and wondering what I was supposed to do in the meanwhile, when suddenly the guy grabbed Niimori’s shoulders and started shaking him. Niimori’s face twisted like he was in pain.

“Oi, cut it out.”

I grabbed the guy’s hand without thinking. Even I was surprised by my instantaneous actions, but I had to cover up how bothered I was that Niimori was having a fight with anyone. “Take your hands off him,” I said.

Niimori glared at me, and I took my hands off the guy, if only because the image of Niimori sprawled out and face up on that landing was still scorched into my mind.

The pro-wrestler type turned a hate-filled eye in my direction.

“What the hell, if you don’t let go of me, I’ll beat the shit out of you, too. Just because you do it once or twice doesn’t mean you’re going out!”

“Yes, we are.”

The instant I spoke, I regretted it. What an idiotic reply, and just to buy the fight this guy was selling.

But I didn’t have much experience with these kinds of things, so I hadn’t really given any thought to what he might say. Besides, I couldn’t just say nothing.

“Liar! You’re not even Mihaya’s type!”

I removed the guy’s hand from Niimori’s shoulder by force and put myself between the two of them. It would have made a great scene in a TV drama.

Of course, unlike such dramas, all the characters were guys, and when I glanced behind me at Niimori, playing the part of the protectee, he was smirking at the entire thing, and apparently enjoying himself. I should never have helped him.

“If you don’t like it, go home. My lover… Don’t interfere again.”

The word lover left a bad taste in my mouth, and I cursed my stupid brain – I should have said we were relatives. It’s not unusual to put yourself in the middle of it when someone is violent towards your family. But saying I was Niimori’s lover, even as a lie, was a total mistake. I was already depressed thinking about how he was going to mock me for it later.

But the pro-wrestler type didn’t notice the heartburn my own words were causing me, and he suddenly seemed to lose all the fight in him. Tears started leaking out of his thin eyes.

“It’s really over then, huh,” he muttered dejectedly. It was more of a confirmation than a question. He looked so sad, he almost seemed like somebody else, and he trudged off in the direction of the elevators with his shoulders slumped without any further clinging.

A wave of sympathy gurgled up at seeing him so grief-stricken, and a guilty feeling filled my chest.

But Niimori, the one who’d been in the relationship, opened the door to his apartment and went inside without a single word to me or the other guy.

“You could say thanks.”

I rushed to put my arm against the door before he could lock me out. The inside of his apartment was just as awful as it had been the other day.

I tried to step on as few things as possible, but by the third step it was all pointless.

“For you announcing you were my lover? When did we start going out, anyway?”

“I… Shut up. I couldn’t think of anything else! I just wanted to find my charm and go home. I wasn’t gonna wait until the two of you finished your little spat!”

I knew I sounded like an idiot, and I felt my face go red.

The one saving grace was that Tsuno wasn’t there – his sole purpose in life was to mock me.

“Next time you want to declare yourself my lover, get my permission first.”

“There won’t be a next time!” I spit out, thinking, /God forbid, please./

The corners of Niimori’s mouth pulled up like he was enjoying himself. “I’m going to take a shower, you look wherever you want,” he said.

Niimori stepped on the stuff scattered on the floor without any hesitation, and disappeared behind the door next to the toilet.

I made my way, picking stuff up as I got deeper into the apartment. I found a discarded bag with the name of a dry cleaners on it, so I used it as a trash bag and stuffed the empty boxes and drink bottles into it. By the time I’d searched every place I thought I’d been that night, I’d found – among other things – a club membership card, car wax, batteries, and an empty spray can, all underneath a layer of magazines and dirty towels.

“It’s a wonder I haven’t found mushrooms, or bugs.”

Wincing, I threw a moldy towel into the bag, and found the remote control for the lights.

When I arrived in the bedroom, I searched the area where I’d been kicked to the other day, and discovered a pair of toy handcuffs.

“What kind of hobbies does this guy have? What the hell would you even use these for? You gonna lock somebody up?”

Still dealing with the shock, I picked them up by the chain and held them up in front of my eyes.

I was surprised to see the part that touched your wrists was covered in black fur, and unlike real handcuffs, the connecting chain was about a meter long. Apparently at this length, you could feel like you were restrained, even if they were only connected in a technical sense. I flung them onto the bed, thinking that they hardly even counted as handcuffs.

Suddenly I realized that I had cleaned the apartment of a hated colleague, and right after my shift had ended to boot. But cleaning had been the fastest way to find my charm. Then I spotted an empty box of condoms that had tumbled next to the handcuffs, and I was attacked by a wave of exhaustion.

“At least put these somewhere people can’t see them!”

Confused and angry, I slammed the box into the trash bag before I remembered a bit late that I was throwing away other people’s stuff. I felt bad, and checked to make sure it was empty. There were still a few inside.

I wondered if he’d used these with that guy from before, and the bed in the middle of the room suddenly felt quite graphic. But he was so popular with the ladies, it was almost too much, and I couldn’t understand why he’d choose to like men.

“What’s so good about some dirty old guy anyway?”

“Big dicks are pretty nice.”

I lifted my head at the matter-of-fact reply to find Niimori entering the room in his underpants.

I’d seen him in that state plenty of times before – we all used the same baths in the academy. I’d even seen him naked once or twice, but looking at him in the darkened bedroom, with the light cutting in through the curtains, I felt like I was seeing something I shouldn’t be.

Niimori, on the other hand, opened his closet, took out a shirt, and put it on without paying me the slightest bit of attention.

“So did you find it?”

“Just the remote you’ve been looking for.”

Niimori turned around, the buttons on his shirt still undone, and spotted the remote I’d put on the bed, and the membership card. “What was that doing in here?”

He didn’t sound particularly joyous, so maybe he hadn’t really been looking for it.

” ‘Thank you for finding it for me.’ ” I said, like I was reading it off a chart, and Niimori tilted his head. His wet hair bounced a little.

“Did I tell you to find it for me?”

“Ah. I see. I just went ahead and did it. I barged right in here, chased off that guy who was following you around, and happened across your remote. What a truly terrible person I am.”

“Something’s wrong with your head, anyway.”

“It seemed to take to the books alright.”

It was a bit surprising, but I had come out victorious against Niimori quite regularly in school. My grades in middle school had been about average, but in the academy, I hadn’t wanted to lose to Niimori, and so I’d worked hard, and my grades had been pretty good.

“Understanding a test and actually being smart are two separate things.”

It certainly was true that I always lost every time we argued like this, and Niimori was the one who was clever with words. But having to admit it grated on my nerves. I should never have anything to do with this guy outside the scene of a fire, really.

I unconsciously glared at him, and his tight stomach crossed my field of vision. Seeing his six-pack, I suddenly remembered a question.

“Why didn’t you just chase him off, that guy from before? I mean, he’s taller, and probably weighs more, but if you wanted to, you could get rid of him pretty easy, right?”

Niimori and I had once had an argument about the answer to a hypothetical question posed to us as trainees. The question was, if there was a seriously injured comrade, and a lightly injured civilian, and you could only rescue one at a time, who do you take first? Our instructor added another condition, too. “The civilian is an arsonist.”

The lesson itself ended without a hitch, but after we got back to the dorms, the conversation turned back around to the hypothetical questions, and Niimori spit out his answer in a terrible, cold tone of voice. “If I were alone in that situation, I would specifically /not/ rescue the arsonist. And once I was done with my professional duties, I’d come back and watch him die. Make sure he roasted to death in the fire he started.”

It filled me with an animosity for Niimori, and I went for him. Before I knew it, we were both heated, and we broke out our fists, hitting and kicking each other.

In the end, our hostile attitude scared some of the younger trainees, and they restrained us, so we had to hold our fists before anything came to a conclusion, but I did get the idea at the time that Niimori was used to brawling. Thinking back on it, that might have been when we started at it like cats and dogs.

Niimori had a surprisingly short temper, and the fact that I knew he didn’t pull his punches when challenged made me wonder if the pro-wrestler type was stronger than he looked.

“Or, has your injury still not healed? Does it… still hurt?”

Maybe his transfer to the command center was because of physical rather than mental after-effects?

I waited for a reply with a meek expression, and Niimori responded, “I was thinking I’d get to go a round.”

“You what?”

“The guy’s great in bed. I decided to end it after he cheated on me, but after a minute, I started to regret it. If he thought we could make up, maybe I could get him to do it. He always went straight to violence when we fought, but he never really hurt me, and the sex afterwords was on fire.”

“… What?”

“I’m a man, I eat what’s in front of me.”

“The meal’s spoiled! You hit the jackpot on cheating, violence, and being a stalker, what’s so great about that? Anyway, don’t guys like that just get worse if you let ’em back in?”

My question was laced with virginal attitudes, and Niimori laughed at me through his nose.

“It’s fine. Despite appearances, he’s pretty timid. Even today, he just left, didn’t he. After a guy with as scary a face as yours threatens him, he won’t be back again. A shame, too,” Niimori said, like it really was a shame. The corners of my mouth pulled down. I definitely should not have helped him.

But when I saw that guy grabbing Niimori by his shoulders and shaking him around, I’d been worried, as much as I didn’t want to admit it.

When I saw that he wasn’t fighting the guy off with the power I knew he had, the image of him stretched out on that hospital bed with that back brace on resurrected itself in the back of my head. But apparently, Niimori had recovered at least enough to have sex that was “on fire.”

“I’m an idiot.”

Worrying about a guy like that was a waste of my time.

“You just realized that now? Everyone else has known it for years.”

Without meaning to, I crushed the thin box that was in my hands. I’d forgotten I was even still holding the box of rubbers.

Niimori looked down at my hands. “Hey, you know there’s still some in there,” he scolded.

He didn’t know where his remote was, but he knew how many condoms he had.

“If you hadn’t chased him off, maybe I’d’ve used one today.”

“If I hadn’t chased him off, maybe next time he would’ve come to your job instead of your house. At any rate, you broke up with a guy who used violence – good. Next time, choose someone less terrible.”

I hated Niimori. I’d never met anyone like him my whole life.

But over the course of our long rivalry, I’d seen his skills for myself. I knew it was just my ego, thinking that I wanted to find someone like that for a competitor, but still.

“For instance?”

“How would I know? You’re the one in those circles. You’re probably popular with all the guys, too,” I spit out carelessly, trying to end the conversation quickly – I knew that if we continued along these lines, I’d end up mocked for my lack of experience.

“Why’d you put it like that? Is it possible you’re jealous?”

Niimori looked down at me – I hadn’t stood up from the floor the whole time – and suddenly something in his eyes twinkled in an unusual way.

“What!?”

That was plainly impossible, why would I be jealous of some jerk who prefers violent gay guys?

If he was a beautiful woman, that would be one thing. Well, if he was a woman of any kind, that would be one thing.

“Why would I be jealous of you? Don’t even joke about it.”

“Not me, the jerk from before.”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

I really didn’t understand what he was saying, but I did feel an instinctive sense of danger, so I put down the bag with the trash in it and stood up, but I was still half-way through the crouch when I was pushed, and ended up tumbling onto the bed.

“Hey, oi!”

“You really don’t understand what I mean? Or is that just how you haggle?”

My fall had been clumsy, but not hard, so I hadn’t hurt anything. Although I thought I heard some kind of /clonk/ noise.

I thought about it for a second and realized that the remote was making little clicking sounds under my ass.

It hasn’t been used for three years, though, so no big deal if it was broken. What was a big deal was the posture I found myself in.

Faster than I could pick myself up, Niimori sat on my stomach.

“What the–”

He was heavier than he looked. He was crushing my liver, and it hurt. He’d beefed himself up right where he’d been injured the most, but that was just like him. I mean, not that this was the time or place to be admiring him for anything.

“You’re not my type, but it might be fun to devour a virgin.”

“What!?”

I tried to get up, but got pushed down again. I kneed Niimori in the back, trying to get away however I could, and there was a nice thunk, but Niimori gasped sharply, scowling.

“Oh, sorry…”

I apologized reflexively – he seemed to really be in pain – and in that instant, something soft touched my wrist.

“Wha?”

Niimori leaned in close like he was going to hug me, which made me flustered, and I felt something touch my other wrist. There was a kind of /chink/ noise. When I looked up, the handcuffs I’d found earlier were around my wrists.

Now I saw why the chain was so long. You could check someone’s range of motion with the length of the chain – Niimori threaded it through the geometric designs of his art deco headboard. I pulled my arms forward, and there was a terrible grating noise.

“That’s custom made in Italy, it’s a million yen. 2 You break it, you pay me back.”

I didn’t know if that was a warning or a threat, but while I was busy being surprised, Niimori quickly unzipped my pants.

“Niimo– Ow!”

I called his name to try and restrain him, but he grabbed my genitals without a moment’s hesitation. A shock of pain ran up my body. He instantly loosened his grip, and sweat shot out of all my pores, I guess from relief.

“What– What are you doing?”

There was no reply to my protest. Niimori immediately closed his mouth over me. Over– it.

“Cut… this can’t…”

I wanted to say, “Cut it out, this can’t be real,” but I couldn’t form the words.

His warm, slimy tongue touched my glans. When he held the tip of me deep in his mouth, all the places where we touched started to melt. It felt so incredible, for a moment I forgot that the person at the other end of the tongue was a guy.

In my twenty-odd years of life, this was the first time I’d ever experienced anything that felt this good.

But the person I was entrusting my body to was evil. He crept his fingers towards my testicles, which shrank back in fear that he was going to crush me, but he tickled me instead, drawing little circles with his fingertips. Such light stimulation felt amazing, and my inner thigh started twitching. I swallowed all the saliva that was building up in my mouth and let out a sigh.

“Niimori, you’re just teasing, right? I mean, this isn’t real, right?”

I didn’t care if he laughed at me for prattling on, I wanted him to tell me this was all a joke.

I wanted to stop this before my disgrace was exposed, and I reached my right hand towards his shoulder, but the chain wasn’t long enough. My elbow was still bent a little, but the headboard creaked – it was yelling at me in Niimori’s place.

“You blow people as a joke?”

I lifted my left hand all the way to the headboard, but the chain was only long enough for my right hand to reach my knees, so I couldn’t push him away. Even if I did break the headboard a little, it would be Niimori’s fault. He had no standing to demand reimbursement, but I was a natural born peasant, and when I thought about how much money it cost, I just couldn’t break the thing.

“Ugh, you– Seriously, I said stop.”

He licked around the edge of my glans, tickling me with the tip of his tongue, and a shiver ran up my back.

Before I could even gasp, there was a certain heat, and I was bent backwards as far as I could go, trying to thrust up into Niimori’s mouth.

I couldn’t believe I was having this kind of reaction to being licked by a man, but what I really couldn’t believe was that it was Niimori doing it. I watched him with his tongue out like a dog, calmly licking such unclean places, and it felt like I was having a nightmare with my eyes open.

“Your head feel funny?” he asked.

“What are you doing? What are you doing to me?”

“Look at you, you’re the one with a hard on, thanks to me.”

He pointed out the reality I’d been desperately averting my eyes from in a tone mixed with scorn and carnal passion, and then invited me deeper into his throat, heaving his tongue tightly against me. He rubbed me between his tongue and the roof of his mouth, and the tip of my dick rubbed on the back of his throat when it contracted, and I completely forgot that what I was thrusting into was his mouth. The sensation that I was being swallowed whole, that I was being taken in by that constantly horrible instrument, made my breath shake.

The inside of his mouth was so wet, and warm, and soft. Niimori was pining my legs down with his knee and one arm. Maybe he didn’t want to get kicked again, although if I kicked him right now, he’d probably scrape my vitals with his teeth.

It was overwhelmingly different from when I did it myself, and I moaned. His pursed lips, the way his teeth brushed me now and again, his wet tongue, that feeling of scraping against the hardness of his palette, the softness of his inside cheek, the inside of his mouth was a unique sensation. All those different parts of his mouth rubbed the tip and the base all at the same time, and the saliva that I’d swallowed a minute ago flooded my mouth again. When I swallowed this time, my throat made a loud gulping noise.

Messily spitting out my breaths, I grabbed Niimori’s shoulder. I felt something looming, something dangerous.

Every time he moved his head, his still-wet hair brushed against my skin.

The noise when he pulled up was so embarrassing it was stupid, but it felt great, and before I knew it, I’d grabbed Niimori’s head and was moving it for him. His soft, wet hair crumpled in my hand.

I heard him grunt like it hurt, but even when I clutched at his head and pulled it down, he didn’t try to bite me or anything.

The inside of my head was getting hot now, too, not just my lower body. When I unconsciously reached my fingertips to his small ears, Niimori shook his head a little like he didn’t like it. The movement caused saliva to spill out of the corners of his mouth and dribble onto the inside of my leg.

“Niimori.”

He looked up. It must have caused me to hit his throat badly, and I saw his eyes waver, so I quickly removed my hand. He spit me out and after a coughing fit, he cursed me. “Give me a break, you virgin.”

Glaring at me as if I’d been the one cursing, he wiped his lips with the back of his hand, but he didn’t shift those amazingly bewitching eyes. On the other hand, he didn’t make any move to swallow me up again.

Just when I figured it was over, that he’d lifted me halfway and was going to end the joke there, Niimori looked at my face and grinned.

“Is this your first time getting a mouth job?”

I was pissed at his mocking tone, but all I could do was stare at Niimori’s lips.

“You want to keep going? Why don’t you try convincing me?”

Niimori realized where I was staring and made his bully’s demand, but I didn’t care to answer.

Even knowing what amazing pleasure awaited, I hated the idea of exposing my shame to this guy. The thought of that finally cleared my head.

“Take these off.”

Once he removed the handcuffs, I could finish it off myself in the bathroom. Not that I was interested in jerking off to some spider webs. Maybe I could borrow his bathtub. Course, his tub was probably filthy, too.

“Orgasm first.”

Which one of us did he mean?

” ‘Lick me, please, in all my dirty places.’ Say it.”

“Give me a break, who would say that?”

“If you don’t, I’ll leave you like that.”

“Go ahead, I’m fine staying here until you lose interest. I’m taking up the whole bed, and I could just break your headboard. You’d get pissed and let me go. I know you’ve got a short temper, you’ll get annoyed soon enough.”

Negotiation was not my strong point, but I’d known Niimori a long time. Given a choice between harassing me and avoiding me altogether, it was obvious which one he’d choose.

With the fires under control and being on the way to covering my exposed unsightly parts, I suddenly remembered the bellowing voice of a particularly demonic instructor from the academy: “A guy who can’t even take care of his own body can’t rescue somebody else!”

His words were directed at trainees who’d collapsed while running. I’d thought of it frequently since I’d become a firefighter, but I hadn’t imagined I’d end up remembering it in bed like this.

“Ow, what?”

Just when I thought I’d withered, suddenly something pressed my genitals against my stomach.

Niimori was stepping on me with his bare foot.

“If you say it just like I told you, I’ll lick you nice and gentle,” Niimori scolded me, like it was all my fault.

His stepping on me hurt, but the place where all that heat had focused seemed to be feeling pretty good even from that crude touch, and I dribbled pre-cum and perked up. Every time he rubbed me with his foot, it made a wet noise. He used every part of his foot too, from the rough skin of his heel to the slightly softer arch. I was being groped by one skillful foot. When he pressed on the base of my dick with his heel, I unintentionally let slip with a moan.

“I don’t even have to use my mouth, you’re gonna cum like this. Go ahead, cum from my foot.”

“Beyond perverted, shit.”

Niimori seemed to be having a grand time. Maybe this was retribution for having my way with his throat.

But if we went back to the beginning, it was all his own fault. Coming from someone’s foot wasn’t on the level no matter how you thought of it, but his toes were covered in slime, and it felt great, and I had a hunch it would feel amazing to be able to come, no matter what else it would be.

I made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a sigh. When this was over, I was going to hit him. I was thinking that maybe I should do the same to him, even if it had to be by force, when his toes touched the tip of me. With all that pre-cum, his foot slipped and his nails raked against my skin.

His hard nails hurt, but when I opened my eyes, I saw Niimori staring at my crotch entranced, his face all red. In that instant, something in my chest flared, and I couldn’t take it anymore, and I ejaculated.

A cloudy liquid flew onto my clothes as I let out a moan, and an intense urge to kill Niimori blossomed within me. But at the same time, a certain shyness returned, too.

“Enough, let me go.”

I spit out the word in between gasps, but Niimori just laughed. “If I let you go now, you’ll be out for revenge.” He reached his fingers towards me – but I’d just gotten there!

I let out a wail. He fondled the sensitive tip, and without thinking I slouched forward. The headboard cried out, the chain still around it.

“You’re not my type, but the face you make when you come ain’t bad.”

When I looked, Niimori was hard, too, and pressing up against his underpants. He’d put his mouth on me and tormented me with his foot, and he’d gotten like that without either of us even touching him – what a disgusting pervert.

“Honestly, I was thinking it’d be one and done, but wouldn’t you like to keep going?” he asked, his voice slurring. His hand reached up to the handcuffs, and those lips brushed my ear.

“If you let me do you, I’ll even suck you again.”

His fingers moved from the handcuffs, and caressed my still-hard genitals. That was all it took for little-me to respond.

That alluring expression… My lust simply jumped the bonds of reason.

But wouldn’t it be nice if we could pass that final line so simply. I’d always daydreamed about the ideal sex with an ideal lover, even if everybody made fun of me for it, and I wouldn’t agree to let that dream be snatched away half in jest in a place like this, by such a hated colleague.

“It’s just between guys, don’t think about it too hard,” he said. “You won’t have to take responsibility for anything, just think of it as taking care of your sexual urges. It felt good, didn’t it?”

“It’s specifically because it is between guys that I should think about it. What the… I mean, saying that to a gay guy is pointless, I guess, but still.”

The man before me laughed as he rubbed my sensitive tip with his fingers. I had to bite down with my molars to keep a moan from leaking out.

My partner was Niimori. He was the worst, but because he was already the absolute worst, there was no need to worry about the relationship going any further south. And holding him down did have a certain charm – he always thought he was so great. But then again, maybe it was the way his lips were so inviting. Glistening and horribly wet.

“Release me, then.”

“That’s not happening.”

“I’m not looking to escape. You oughta know easily enough if I’m lying.”

Once I’d decided to hold him, even if only out of self-interest, that heat had started gathering again. Looking at my face, Niimori reached for the handcuffs.

I assumed he’d need a key, but he released me with an easy slide of the cuff’s metal fittings.

Not that I could have undone them under my own power, but I hadn’t imagined it was such a simple mechanism. It was a bit of an anti-climax. Course, if I was that eager to be let go, the chain wasn’t that thick, I could have ripped that apart, if I wasn’t willing to wreck the bed.

“Strip,” Niimori ordered me, as I was busy with regrets. “Or maybe you’re done after all?”

He was provoking me with that thin smile, so I removed every piece of clothing I was wearing right in front of him. I was the type to plunge onward without worrying once I’d come to a decision, but of course I was worried – wouldn’t I get turned off looking at the same equipment I already had? But as I watched Niimori pull down his own underpants and expose himself, my excitement kept growing.

That organ, created on males to go inside females, was a pale red color.

His glans ignored the composure the rest of him displayed, strained and bent back. It stood tall and lively, and I realized again that we really were about to have sex.

But– I mean, great, we were both naked, but I had no idea where to even start.

“Did you find the lube anywhere?” Niimori asked, as I sat there getting harder.

“I didn’t see any.”

“Oh. Open a new one then.”

Watching him bent over, rustling around for a spare bottle of lube, I remembered I’d once said that my ideal was to have my first time with a cute girl at a pretty little hotel somewhere one night after we’d been going out for about three months. And of course, I was going to create a certain mood that night. When I mentioned it to some friends from my hometown a while back, they’d laughed in my face. “What century were you born in?”

I was just feeling bitter about having ended up about to do it with a co-worker who had a terrible personality and a foul mouth, in a filthy apartment in the middle of the day, when Niimori returned to the bed with an economy sized bottle of lube in one hand.

“Do you ever use up something that huge?”

“I have a lot more opportunities to use it than a virgin like you. Anyway, you can use it for other things too, you know.”

I had never imagined that there were other uses, but I was pissed, so I grabbed the lube out of his hand.

I opened the cap and dribbled some out into my hand, but it was more slippery than I’d imagined, and it flowed right between my fingers and fell like a pulled thread onto the sheets.

“Doing it yourself?”

“I can do at least this much,” I answered, and Niimori’s grinning face came into view, so I pushed him down onto the bed and poured the contents of the bottle into my palm again.

After I had him pinned to the bed, Niimori laughed. “Your first time, and you’re going be on top.”

“I would be normally,” I answered, and after I rubbed the lube I’d poured out onto my genitals, I grabbed those long legs of his.

“Uh.”

I bent his knees for him and when I put the tip of my glans up to his hole, finally he called out my name – “Adachi?” – in a rush. Maybe he’d thought it would be a funny joke, but there was no stopping it now.

So before he could say anything, I put my hand down there to guide myself and I had my sights set on thrusting in all in one go.

Niimori bent his head back as far as it would go. In the space between his body and mine, his leg twitched.

“Too bad, it’s not going in all the way.”

I wondered if the lube was supposed to go on Niimori rather than me, but I knew if I asked, I’d end up getting made fun of – “This is why you’re a virgin,” or “You really are an idiot, you virgin.”

Niimori’s awful personality really came out in the way he specifically drew out the word virgin.

I opened his hole with my finger, but just the tip of me only barely went in, and he was so tight I felt like I was going soft.

“Niimori…”

When I called to him, his knees jumped in surprise.

“Get– out–”

“I still haven’t gone all the way in, don’t tell me to get out.”

Even knowing it was no good, I tried pushing forward, and a gasp leaked out of Niimori’s mouth. It was a sound I’d never heard before, like he was having a cramp, or like he was scared. I wanted to hear it again, so I put up with the pain and pressed in with my hips.

“What– are you— doing?”

“No, I’m so hard.”

“Ugh, give me– fucking–”

He looked up at me with a displeased expression that said, “Give me break, you fucking moron.”

His hole was tight, but that was the entire reason we’d ended up like this. When our eyes met, his lips flapped open and shut a few times – those lips were redder than normal. “Why– You put it in–”

“What?”

I still had no idea what he meant, but halfway in like this hurt, so I grabbed Niimori’s hips and pulled them closer, trying to bury myself the rest of the way, but he hit me in the head and yelled, “Are you dumb! It’s not going in any more than that, I don’t care what you think!” Maybe because of his movements, his insides constricted.

It didn’t hurt, but I was angry at being hit, so I pushed my way in by force. “Yes it can.”

He let out a wail.

“Breathing awfully hard, aren’t you.”

“No, I’m– Ah–”

I could see Niimori clench his jaw like he was crushing the life out of his words.

My hands that were holding his hips slipped on something slimy, and I realized it was the cold sweat Niimori’d broken into.

“I hope– you die– I said– don’t go– any further–”

In between disconnected breaths, Niimori tried to push me away with a shaking hand, but he didn’t have much strength.

Seeing it all, I asked, “Is it possible this is your first time, too?”

Niimori blinked in what seemed like agreement, and then glared at me in frustration.

“Are you serious, even as big as that guy was?”

“I… I like pinning them down– guys who think they’re so great– guys who’re bigger– than me– ugh, god.”

“So you do realize your special personality!”

“I said– Let me do you– didn’t I?”

I thought that meant have sex or don’t, not embrace or be embraced.

I would never have done it if I’d doubted for a minute that I’d be the one doing the embracing, but maybe Niimori had thought the same.

We are alike in strange ways, I thought, calmly analyzing the whole misunderstanding in my mind.

“Jeez, enough already, pull out.”

Niimori was heaving in painful breath, and hiding his face behind his arm.

Did he hate being looked down on, or did he maybe not want me to see his face cramping up as he was taken by another guy.

His genitals were totally losing their vigor, but when I reached my hand down there, I could see Niimori’s abdominal muscles ripple. As I rubbed him lightly, his hardness steadily came back, and at the same time, the inner wall of him that was wrapped around my manhood clamped down tight.

“I said– stop, you–”

Being inside him was a whole other pleasure. Unlike his tongue, Niimori didn’t seem to be able to control his movements down there, and it felt great. Maybe I didn’t have much experience, but I wasn’t much interested in causing this jerk much pleasure anyway. As far as I was concerned, I was going to finish this without handing over any bit of initiative to him. After all, it was his first time, too. And anyway, it turned out that there was something this great in the universe, I couldn’t simply leave.

“A– dachi– –give me– –break!”

As I buried myself the rest of the way in, still fiddling with Niimori’s genitals, and heaved a sigh, he let out a grumbled complaint. “You– still haven’t fit it all in there– Jesus Christ.”

He’d had it in his mouth a little bit ago, he should’ve known how long it was, but he seemed genuinely surprised, and drew in painful, shallow breaths. Niimori’s hole clamped down in rhythm with his breathing.

It seemed more like a reverberation going through his body than any conscious movement.

“Does it hurt that much?” I asked in an unexpectedly sweet tone.

“Get out now,” Niimori said, his face still hidden behind his arm.

“You’re the one who started it, take some responsibility and stick with me to the end.”

When I finished talking, I pushed hard inside him, and his open legs jumped. Skin touched skin, and I realized that Niimori’s body was even hotter than mine. When I crept my hand around his hard ass, his entire body shook as I watched.

He was definitely going to shout at me when this was over – “You suck at this!” “The absolute worst!” – so I might as well take whatever pleasure I could right up until the end. I slowly rubbed up inside his tight body.

He heaved a long sigh but when I looked up, he was biting his lip hard, and without thinking, I slipped my finger up there.

He bit down hatefully, but he didn’t put any strength into it, so it didn’t hurt much.

I wanted to see his expression so I tore his arm off his face, and caught a line of sweat off his forehead.

Niimori obstinately refused to meet my eyes, but his expression was even harsher than before. Feelings of guilt did sprout in me after all, but when I started to pull out, he rushed to stop me. “Don’t– don’t move.”

“Okay, what should I do then?”

There was no answer. Looking down at his stiff body, I called out, “Niimori.”

His chest muscles slowly rose and lowered. I hadn’t touched his nipples even once, but they were stiff and pointed straight up like he was chilly. Unconsciously, I gulped. They didn’t look like they’d be soft, but I wanted to touch them, bad, and I stretched out my hand. Niimori seemed to be trying to drive the pain away, breathing in ragged spurts, but he didn’t refuse me.

I thought maybe it would be okay if I just didn’t stop, so I leaned in and dropped my lips onto his chest, but Niimori gloomily rebuked me. “Stop.”
I resisted his jeers. Just touching his chest couldn’t hurt, so I ignored him, and when I held his nipple in my mouth and pressed with my tongue, a lovely moan leaked out of him.

I sucked hard, and he stirred. His chest indeed was not soft, and he seemed to be trying to get away, so I gnawed on the tip of his nipple and just around it like I was in a trance, and Niimori’s sighs started to change subtly.

Once I realized he liked having his nipples caressed with my tongue – they were so helpless, I could have just bitten them off – it got to be way too much fun. I pushed in on the one, drawing circles with my finger around the other one, and the inside of his hole tightened.

“Are you feeling it?”

“Roast in hell.”

I was relieved he seemed more composed than earlier, and I gently rubbed myself inside of him.

“Ugh, don’t move– Aah…”

“I waited long enough.”

“Ha, afterwards– I’m absolutely going to beat you to death– Don’t, ugh…”

I ignored his weak threats. When I moved his hips for him, he bit down hard on his lip again, and his breaths leaked out in disconnected puffs. But just as I was wondering if it was only going hurt him, I noticed his stomach was wet.

The transparent mucus that had dripped out there was proof that Niimori was getting some pleasure out of this too. When I saw it, the urge to pin him down came boiling up inside of me, and I thrust up hard inside of him. The going seemed smoother than before.

He let out a conspicuously loud gasp, and instantly bit down on his lip again. Apparently, he was loath to let me hear him.

It made me want to bully him. I wanted to make him show me everything, and I dug into him deeper than ever. I pulled out until I was barely even in him, and then inside, inside. I rubbed his soft, tight insides with my shaft, listening to the sound of flesh against mucus membrane. I enjoyed the cries of pleasure from someone who usually scoffed at me, and I was finding it more and more difficult to stop.

Niimori grunted and moaned. I saw through the gap in his arm that his face was getting red, and a shudder of pleasure ran through my body. His skin wasn’t sunburnt, but it was dyed red like it had been, and my eyes were glued to him.

What kind of expression was he making? I wanted to see his face. Before either one of us could gasp in another breath, I grabbed the arm Niimori was hiding his face with.

He realized what I was doing and resisted, but his wrist was a lot thinner than mine, and I caught it easily. I would never have been able to do that under normal circumstances. I pinned his arm to the sheets and a melted expression flew into my field of vision – I’d never seen him like that before. The muscles in my back shook at his physiological reaction – those moist eyes and red cheeks.

He still had the sheer willpower not to meet my eyes, and he dodged my gaze, but it was too much.

“Let go,” he spat out. His lips were red from biting them so hard, and his voice echoed in my hips.

“I can’t.”

I rejected the idea out of hand, and finally he turned his gaze to me. He was desperately trying to put a stern expression on his face, and finally got there after a pointlessly huge effort. My thoughts came straight out of my mouth. “So cute, what the hell.”

The second Niimori’s eyes flew open, I realized what I’d said. But I couldn’t take it back. I felt strange, like I was drunk even though I hadn’t touched a drop. There was this heat in the core of my brain, and I couldn’t see anything except the body that was in front of me.

“It’s like… You’re so pornographic, my head’s just blank.”

“Wha… You…”

He probably wants to know what the hell I’m saying, I thought as I planted myself on his lips.

To be honest, I couldn’t help but wonder that myself, what the hell /was/ I saying to this guy, but Niimori was so surprised he couldn’t form the words, and he was showing such a recklessly cute side of himself that there wasn’t anything else to do about it.

“Ahh… Let me– go– Ugh…”

I sucked his tongue in along with his long breaths. It was softer than I’d imagined, I was surprised.

Swinging my hips, this time I put my tongue into Niimori’s mouth.

He repeated his crude impersonation of resistance, huffing and moaning like he was desperate to escape, but when I pressed his head down with my hand, his fist hit my back so lightly I hardly felt it. Such bare resistance did nothing but stiffen me up. I was so turned on, I wondered if he didn’t know everything and was doing it on purpose.

I grabbed back onto his leg, and when I pushed deeper, Niimori’s hips jumped up. It felt so good, I let a moan slip out.

When I stabbed behind his genitals like I was going to do it again, Niimori let out a groan like he despised me.

His red face was so cute, twisted into that reluctant expression, and I thrust into him over and over, teasing him so much that he let out that voice again. I held him down the whole time, and all the stiffness went out of him – he abandoned himself to just being done.

Looking down at the full view of him – I could see everything from his hole at the bottom through to his mouth at the top – I thrust into him hard. He let out a grunt through his nose and came.

I grabbed his leg again, not yet at peace myself, and thrust up into his body.

Maybe he hadn’t been ready for it, but he let out the loudest, sweetest voice he’d made thus far.

“Come on, pull out, I came, ahhh… Adachi, pull out, stop, idiot, virgin–”

“I’m not a virgin any more. And I’m not done yet, either, so stick with me a little longer.”

“Ugh, oh… You suck at this.”

I ignored the curses he spat out at me and just moved my hips, and in the end, when I poured everything I had into him, Niimori bent backward and let out a moan so sweet it was stupid, at the end of which he sighed and muttered, “I will kill you.”


  1. it’s supposed to be a courage kind of thing, people used to write it on a piece of paper and then swallow the paper as a way of ensuring they’d dominate other people.
  2. about $90k


In Love and On Fire

In Love and On Fire

Koishite, Enjou, 恋して、炎上
Score 9.2
Status: Completed Type: Author: Artist: , Released: 2013 Native Language: Japanese
Virgin Firefighter Adachi learns one day that his disagreeable co-worker Niimori is gay, and prefers the lowest type of guy. Thinking he’s found something he can lord over Niimori, he ends up attacked himself, but quickly turns the situation on its head and ends up embracing Niimori himself…!? Special Electronic Edition short story, “In Love and Purehearted” is included, which tells the story of that night from Niimori’s perspective.

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