“Big brother!” On a beautiful winter afternoon, the younger brother sat beside his older brother, with a particularly excited look in his eyes.
“Go away.” Gu Zong was as cold as ever, and kept reading the document without even lifting his head.
“How can you be like this~.” The younger brother got upset, “I have something to ask you.”
“Busy.” Gu Zong was still acting indifferently.
“It was sister-in-law who sent me to-”
“Then ask.” The older brother immediately put away the documents that he was reading and sat up straight, with an unmatched look of affection on his face. “Don’t rush, ask slowly.”
His older brother really had no shame! The younger brother stuck up a cute little middle finger at him in his heart, then excitedly said, “If sister-in-law and I both fell into a river… Ah, ah, why are you hitting me!”
Gu Zong slapped his brother’s head angrily. “Stop making such inauspicious remarks1!”
The younger brother protested, “I’m just asking!”
“Don’t even ask!” The older brother becoming domineering was both handsome and callous. It was incredibly charming.
The younger brother had to beg. “Then, if I fell into the river, and sister-in-law was standing on the shore, who would you save first?”
“Your sister-in-law.” The older brother didn’t even hesitate.
The younger brother burst into tears and said, “But my sister-in-law said you’d save me first.”
“What a joke.” The older brother was serious, “Why would I save you for no reason, it’s not like I have any free time.”
The little brother cried for a long time, feeling like he was experiencing a situation worse than death.
“Xiaonian told you to come and ask me this?” The elder brother was a bit skeptical.
“We bet that if you saved sister-in-law first, he would take me shopping.” The younger brother choked out through his tears.
Gu Zong smiled, which then turned into a cold frown. “You actually dared to try and win a bet against Xiaonian?”
The younger brother’s tearful eyes were filled with anticipation and hope. “Then, how about you save me first and save sister-in-law after? Then I’ll win.”
The elder brother thought for a moment, “I’ll still save him first.”
The younger brother despaired at this world brimming with malice.
“Come back early from shopping.” The elder brother said, “We’re eating out tonight, I have a bit too much going on today.”
The little brother agreed, eyes red and going to his sister-in-law, his whole body emanating a strong aura of resentment. Liu Xiaonian’s back was stared at so much by him that he felt it start to go numb, so he had no choice but to key in the digits of the lock and change his clothes so he could go out.
“Let’s go eat an extravagant meal befitting of an emperor!” The younger brother drove while gripping the steering wheel fiercely, “We’ll use my brother’s credit card!”
Liu Xiaonian let out an “Oh”, and kept eating his potato chips.
“Then, we’ll buy him some 50-cent buns for dinner.” The younger brother kept thinking outside the box. “Inside would be some small cabbage pieces, each bite would be like eating mud.”
Lu Xiaonian laughed so hard he felt like crying. “How about I take you to eat dumplings?”
“What’s so good about dumplings?” The younger brother asked, apathetically. “Which store?”
“The white flower petals of Cyprus.” Liu Xiaonian said.
The younger brother’s thin little body shook. “That’s the name of a dumpling store?”
Liu Xiaonian nodded. “Mm, it’s on Haichuan Road.”
“Ok.” The younger brother immediately nodded, “We’ll go to this one.”
Considering this youth’s temperament, that went remarkably well!
Promptly, the two of them arrived at the door of a small, rundown store.
“This is the one.” Liu Xiaonian opened the car door. “There aren’t a lot of people at this time so we don’t have to wait for a spot.”
Feeling cheated, the younger brother seriously protested, “This is clearly just a dumpling store.”
Liu Xiaonian was embarrassed, “I know.”
“How can a dumpling store have this kind of thoughtless2
type of name!” The little brother was upset. “It ought to be called Chang Facai3
dumpling store or maybe Xiyangyang4
noodle shop! If it’s like this I definitely won’t come!”
“Originally, it was a second-hand luxury goods exchange store, which collapsed.” Liu Xiaonian explained.
Art was actually defeated by the world, the little brother’s small face was full of contempt!
“Maybe Dr. Lu will like it.” Liu Xiaonian had to change his strategy a little, “Last time he also said that the Sichuan pancake by the front of the hospital was delicious.”
Damn! The younger brother immediately felt like the Zhang Facai dumpling store looked completely different from this store, so he immediately dragged his sister-in-law inside.
The store was very noisy; even though it wasn’t really rush hour, it was still full of people.
The two had a hard time finding an empty seat. Liu Xiaonian handed his schoolbag to Gu Xi, and went to the counter to order food.
The younger brother was sitting in a chair, poor and bored so he started to scroll through the forum for teenagers. The first “HOT” post was incredibly eye catching.
[HELP!!!!! My boyfriend actually forced me to wear long johns5
!!!!! Should I break up with him!!!”]
——What to do!!! LZ6
really likes a man!!!! But he actually forced LZ to wear long johns today!!! LZ is now as good as dead!!! Living!! Isn’t!! Better!! Than!! Death!!! Should I break up with him or not!!!! Yes or no!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Or!!!!! No!!!!!
The little brother suddenly looked gloomy, and especially empathetic, because his man in the past had done this too, and the long johns were even freaking navy blue. They were really long, and freaking tight, and even freaking elevated the shape of your butt! This was a dark part of his past!!
Things like long johns were just too destructive to the youth, so the post rapidly got attention. Everyone first warmly asked Lan Zhou if they really couldn’t reach a compromise, and after receiving a negative response they sighed. If you wear long johns, you’ll quickly become a country bumpkin! This was really too scary! Back then, there was a traitor in their midst. Under the powerful influence of their boyfriend, they not only wore long johns but also came onto the forum and made a post cursing us to get rheumatoid arthritis in our legs! This time, Lan Zhou, you have to pull through!
Damn! The younger brother’s eyes suddenly saddened, because he was the traitor who wore those long johns!
“The dumplings are here!” Liu Xiaonian carried a large tray over and placed it on the table.
“Are you wearing long johns?” The younger brother asked his sister-in-law seriously.
Liu Xiaonian froze for a moment, “Of course, it’d be too cold without them.”
“I didn’t wear them!” The younger brother proudly jerked up his pant leg to show off.
“I know you didn’t wear them.” Liu Xiaonian handed him the chopsticks. “Eat while it’s hot.”
“Actually, you can gradually stop wearing them in the future.” The younger brother said patiently, “Actually, there are many benefits to not wearing long johns.”
“Like?” Liu Xianian asked.
The younger brother said cockily, “For example, you can say that you’re cold then sit on my brother’s lap and squirm around.”
“Ahem.” Liu Xiaonian coughed out a mouthful of noodle soup.
“So, what do you think?” The brother looked at his sister-in-law with great anticipation.
“I don’t think it’s good at all.” Liu Xiaonian was embarrassed.
“To be honest, I’ve always wanted to do that.” The younger brother’s words were regretful.
“I also think you can.” Liu Xiaonian bent his head and ate the dumplings. “Dr. Lu would be very happy.”
The younger brother immediately stiffened with shame, and at the same time he was a little crestfallen. “But he’ll be angry if he finds out that I secretly did not wear long johns again.”
Liu Xiaonian added a little vinegar to Gu Xi’s dumplings.
“But then, maybe we can play a little punishment game!” The little brother’s moral integrity had shattered.
Liu Xiaonian looked at him speechlessly.
The younger brother ignored his sister-in-law, crossed his arms, and laughed happily inside. He felt that this was damn great!
So, after Dr. Lu returned from his business trip, Gu Xi immediately couldn’t wait to implement his plan.
The two went out for a dinner date first, and after that, went for a walk on the city wall, hand in hand. Snowflakes were falling, and it was a very special and romantic moment.
So, the younger brother delicately sneezed.
“Cold?” Lu Zhanfeng took off his scarf and carefully tied it around him.
Damn, this was too warm! The younger brother immediately felt like his entire being had almost completely melted!
This feeling was so soothing!
“Let’s go.” Lu Zhanfeng held his hand, “We’ll head home.”
The younger brother nodded and was well-behaved enough to get into the car with him, and then tangled themselves into a french kiss.
“Your nose is frozen red.” Lu Zhanfeng smiled and pinched him. “Put on your seatbelt.”
Could it be, he didn’t want to go for a round in the car! He didn’t wear fall pants, so it was especially convenient! The younger brother’s eyes looked confused.
“You’ll catch a cold.” Lu Zhanfeng helped him buckle his seatbelt.
“It seems like I’ve already caught a cold.” The brother felt like his face had become like a pure white flower, especially soft!
“You’re wearing a lot.” Lu Zhanfeng tested the temperature of his forehead, “It’s a bit warm.”
“Mhm, I’m dizzy.” The little brother looked so weak, and he wished Dr. Lu would pinch his chin and say something fierce like “You disobedient, naughty little boy, are you not wearing long johns again!” or something else like that!
“We’ll get you some medicine when we get home.” Lu Zhanfeng started the car.
Damn, the little brother immediately panicked. How could they just go like that, he needed his burning hot body!
However, Dr. Lu didn’t cooperate at all, and the entire ride was smooth and full of green lights, and he drove the car downstairs.
The younger brother was tirelessly playing coy, and was desperate to be escorted with a princess carry.
“Let’s get out of the car.” Lu Zhanfeng pulled open the car door.
So he’s really not interested, huh… The little brother made a delicate and charming expression and said, “Dizzy.”
“Is it this serious?” Lu Zhanfeng knitted his brows.
“Mm.” The younger brother bit his lower lip, feeling like he looked extremely sorrowful!!!!!
Lu Zhanfeng embraced him, softly pressing their foreheads together.
The younger brother’s tiny heart was pounding crazily, and he mentally prepared himself for a french kiss, keeping his breathing shallow.
“We’ll go to the hospital.” Lu Zhanfeng was quick to get back in the car and buckle his seatbelt.
Damn! The younger brother froze for a second.
“Your temperature is higher than before.” Lu Zhanfeng said, “We should get you injected with a fever suppressant.”
Get WHAT injection? He’s faking it! Gu Xi had already finished preparing everything, preparing to sprinkle some tenderness, but the moment he opened his mouth he sneezed five times in a row.
“Could it be that you didn’t wear long johns again?” Lu Zhanfeng, at long last, asked the question that the younger brother had been yearning for.
According to the original plan, at this time the younger brother would bow his head, saying a few “Husband, it was my bad, please punish me” and some other cute and loving phrases, but the reality of the situation was more tragic as he was teary-eyed wiping his nose.
Damn, he actually seemed to be dizzy!
Lu Zhanfeng drove the car to the community hospital and carried Gu Xi to the consultation room.
“I don’t want to get a shot.” The little brother protested as he coughed.
Lu Zhanfeng frowned, “Be good.”
“Then you inject it for me.” Even though he was dizzy, the little brother was still obsessed with the whole seducing his man thing!
“No fooling around!” Lu Zhanfeng patted his head. “I’ll go out to buy medicine while you wait here for the nurse to give you the injection.”
The younger brother was incredibly disappointed and watched miserably as his man went out the door.
“Take off your pants!” The nurse auntie’s manner of speaking was very domineering.
“Please remember to be gentle.” Gu Xi cried.
The nurse had obviously encountered similar patients who whined like him, so she just straightforwardly injected him.
The younger brother grunted with a deep voice, really feeling like he was better off dead.
“It hurts.” Back in the car, the younger brother was aggrieved and acted spoiled. He wouldn’t mind getting some warm caresses right now!
“So now you realize it hurts?” Lu Zhanfeng’s expression was cold.
“Mhm.” Crap, what was this tone, c-could it be he was mad? The little brother had a guilty conscience, so he leaned over and hugged his waist.
“Sit up straight and fasten your seat belt.” Lu Zhanfeng started the car.
“Husband.” The younger brother’s voice was extremely quiet, “I feel unwell.”
Lu Zhanfeng looked out the window and didn’t say anything.
The younger brother coughed in a small voice with teary eyes, and held his hand in sorrow. “Husband, I was wrong.”
Lu Zhanfeng sighed and turned to hold him in his arms. “Are you uncomfortable?”
The younger brother burst out in tears!
“I’m not angry with you.” Lu Zhanfeng lowered his head and kissed him, “I’m heartbroken that you’re sick.”
So warm! The little brother got drunk on happiness!
“I didn’t even take care of you properly, are you mad?” Lu Zhanfeng asked him.
Of course not! The little brother shook his head in protest.
Lu Zhanfeng’s eyes were full of self-reproach, “If it were someone else, I’m sure they could take care of little Xi very well, much less make you sick.”
How could that be! The younger brother immediately stiffened, who wants someone else to take care of them, huh, I just want you to take care of me!
Lu Zhanfeng smiled bitterly, “It’s because I’m too busy at work, I’m sorry.”
Seeing his man’s expression, the little brother’s heart instantly shattered, so he said with teary eyes, “I’ll definitely wear autumn pants every day in the future!”
Lu Zhanfeng looked at him wordlessly.
“I’m not lying!” The younger brother tearfully pounced on him and hugged him, “I’ll be really good and wear long johns- even cotton wool ones, bright red is fine, supporting the butt and skintight is even better!”
Lu Zhanfeng rubbed his head.
“Don’t blame yourself, I’ll never get sick again!” The little brother assured him into his ear!
“Mm, little Xi is the best behaved.” Lu Zhanfeng patted his back, the corners of his mouth rising in an unnoticeable arc, awfully two-faced.
Really good… The little brother was filled with emotion, he was praised once again!
The ride home was slow, with the younger brother leaning on the passenger side and he resolutely posted a message on his phone.
[ That’s right, I’m the user who wore long johns, and during every harsh winter in the future I plan on wearing bewitching long johns! ]
Damn, this feeling was the power of love!!!!!!!!
The younger brother felt like his entire body was burning hot!!!!
Which extremely suited this explosive situation even more!!!!!!!
Would he finally face a storm of kisses the next second?!
In fact, after posting it, the younger brother tragically passed out!
With the fever and the flu shot, he was so sleepy that he couldn’t even open his eyelids!
“Husband.” The little brother beamed up in a daze, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” Lu Zhanfeng lowered his head and kissed him, wrapping him in his coat and hugging him as he walked upstairs.
The brother was giggling like an idiot while dreaming, cheeks flushed.
Although the winter was very cold, his lover’s embrace was really, really warm…
Raws: 乌鸦嘴, lit. meaning “Crow’s mouth”, to make an inauspicious remark, essentially jinxing.
The original translated to “stream-of-consciousness… I have no idea… maybe it’s like “came up with on a whim”?
The same Facai as “get rich”, and Chang means “long”. Basically, “Be rich for a long time.”
Xiyangyang means “radiant/very happy”.
There is no English equivalent, but the Chinese is “秋裤”, lit, Autumn Pants. Here is a picture for reference. They just function the same as long johns, but are more like leggings.
LZ, standing for Lao Zi (老子). Used as a sarcastic “I”, or jokingly. Means “Dad”. It could also stand for Lan Zhou (The name of the user, as you’ll see later.)