The corpse of a cat missing one eye, a homeless person that tears back the bed covers of another homeless, a flock of people with large masks that cover their entire face, concrete, vomit, a run-down car.
Paying no attention to these ordinary sights, she affirmed the contours of the words in her mind.
I wish I had never been born.
She detested her parents. Her classmates. She detested those stupid adults. My life has strayed from the tracks. Or maybe, it had been placed in a wasteland far away from the tracks since the very beginning. This environment is the fruit of humanity’s malice. If you were to tie together the ends of the reckless actions of stupid humans, surely, they would lead to me. Such things spread out through my mind like a spider’s web.
How unfortunate I am.
To be surrounded by humans that are ignorant to my misfortune, humans that seem to have no sense of beauty or even any pride.
These thoughtful humans that are always dying, they need someone to shoulder their burdens.
It’s an unfair world.
But even still, I will forgive everyone. I will forgive these humans.
Since I can’t keep up with them, I’m the one to blame.
She prided herself in shouldering the burden of the world’s negligence, malice, and damage caused by their own innocence, all on her own.
She ate every last bite of the meals her mother made.
She played video games where you killed people.
She wore the same clothes as the actress on the cover of fashion magazines.
She made plans for tomorrow.
She slept in a warm bed.
She was unaware of anyone’s kindess.
She was unaware, too, of whoever shouldered her mistakes.
She had a dream about the world ending.
She was desperate to survive.
A city that expands and contracts freely, that’s the concept I incorporated into the song.
For this album, it’s become more unorganized, more human…
It’s transformed, degraded even, in a way that satisfies no one.