A Friend Who I Loved for a Long Time chapter 2

Extra: The Male Lead’s Perspective

I can only beg for the next life.

 

Ah Li

 

——————

 

I was sixteen years old the first time I met her. I had sneaked out after a fight with my parents and was smoking in the corner. Because it was my first time, the smoke irritated my nose.

I looked up when I heard a sound. I realized that it was a little girl laughing at me. I saw her—red lips and white teeth. The bright, teasing eyes were her; the tsundere characteristic glancing at me sideways was her. I stared at her, but the stare contained affection.

The second time I saw her was at the low wall of the school. She seemed like an obedient girl that I did not expect would skip class. I raised my eyebrow slightly and said what bad luck; but in reality, I said what a coincidence in my mind.

In her second year of high school, she told me that her parents had been divorced for more than ten years. This time, her mother was coming back to take her away. This was the first time I knew about her family situation, and it was also the first time that I felt something different in my heart. I was worried that she would really leave, and I hoped she could have a good life.

She said a lot that night. Everything was about her family. Her parents did not think she was important, and she and her grandmother depended on each other.

I listened as my chest felt heavy. I felt bad for her, so I began to find a place to earn money. I wanted to save enough money for her to keep learning to dance.

I looked at how happy she was. Who would have thought that she was so depressed?

 

_

 

Later, her illness became more and more serious. She said that she wanted to see the sea and cherry blossoms, and that she was worried that she might not be able to see them during her life.

I listened and the corners of my eyes felt tingly. I scolded her for being out of her mind to say those words. Later, I began to look through travel guides. With the money I earned, I was going to take her to see the large sea, as well as the most beautiful cherry blossom forest.

On the day we went to see the sea, the breeze was very strong. She told me that she did not want to live. I scolded her in my mind and the wind grew stronger. I was scared that her thin body in front of me would be blown away.

Ah Li, you have lost a lot of weight. I said she was ill. That night was the first time I cried in front of her. Both our eyes were full of tears.

I said to her, “Let’s get you treatment for your illness. I’ll stay with you.”

 

_

 

In the third year of high school, she accepted her mother’s conditions and told me that she would go with her mother to another city after the college entrance examination.

I began to plan for the college entrance examination. I wanted to take the exam to go to her city.

Her illness was getting worse and worse. I was also the one who disinfected her cuts. I told her over and over again, “You will be alright.”

Truthfully, I understand that this road was very difficult, and she lived with too much pain.

But I didn’t want her to die. I wanted to drag her to a better place together. She was the blazing sun that appeared at the moment of my life. Although it was as short as when the cactus bloomed at night, I still wanted to go forward with my sun.

“Li, I’ll take you to my future.”

But a person’s plans could be derailed by unforeseeable events. What happened during the performance in the third year of high school was my negligence and my fault. She was pushed down the stairs by a classmate who had her own thoughts. It was the first time I saw her have no desire to live. She was gasping in a pool of blood. There was a dull sound in my heart and unbearable confusion in my mind. I repeated the words, “Don’t die.”

In the ambulance, she said it wasn’t my fault. I took her colorless hand. She was deathly pale.

It was the first time we held hands. She took my hand to comfort me. I knew our relationship was coming to an end.

She was ill. She needed treatment.

And I wanted to be with her.

 

_

 

I sent her to the hospital. After getting off from the ambulance, I saw her go to the operating room for surgery. Later, her parents came. Ah Li’s mother was very beautiful. I think she must have inherited her mother’s beauty.

Outside the operating room, I said a lot to her parents as Ah Li’s friend. I was an 18 year old student who had just become an adult that was shouting accusations at two adults until I was hoarse.

“She’s ill, and if she continues like that, she’ll die. Can you guys just… save her?”

After I finished saying that, I sat down in silence until the doctor came out to inform us that she was not in danger. I was relieved. As soon as I was about to get up, my vision went black and I fell on the cold tile floor.

By the time I woke up, I was already in a hospital bed. The doctor said I was ill. He was not sure what I had yet and needed to slowly examine me.

People from the hospital called my older sister. When I heard that, I was sad and surprised.

My parents were still abroad and I never had a good relationship with them. My sister was the only one hugging me and crying.

They were responsible for providing my sister and I money; they were not responsible for providing us love.

I was thinking, if I died now, what would Ah Li do? I knew her too well. She was a person who would die right away if she did not have any hope.

A family related by blood was supposed to be her greatest hope, but she just lacked that.

Since I became her hope, she told me that apart from her grandmother, I was the only hope she had left. She would not want commit suicide so quickly because of her grandmother and I.

She lacked too much love and needed too much love.

Later, in the days before the diagnosis, my sister took care of me, and I always went to see her while hiding what had happened to me.

The day I was diagnosed was the day she committed suicide. That was the last time I went to see her. I clutched my medical records and looked at the other end of the ward where she was without saying a word. I knew that I could no longer be her hope.

It was because of me—I couldn’t live anymore.

During the first month I was under treatment, my health declined rapidly and I became thinner and thinner. I often looked at myself in the mirror. I was in a bit of a trance since I didn’t recognize myself.

I didn’t tell her. I was afraid she would fall apart and would leave before me.

I didn’t have a way to continue seeing her that month. I got in touch with her again on her eighteenth birthday. I looked at the chemotherapy sheet the doctor gave me. My health and condition were getting worse and worse.

I called to tell her that I had a girlfriend.

I looked at the fireworks outside the hospital. On such a festive day, I didn’t know how long I would live.

That day, I heard through the phone how she froze and said nothing. I still sounded so happy and cheerful, as if I really had a girlfriend just now.

But I said to myself silently, “Ah Li. Happy birthday and Happy New Year. I don’t know how much longer I can stay with you.”

After hanging up the phone, I looked at the heavy snow outside the hospital. I sat alone on the hospital bed and wanted to cry.

I had only cried a few times in my life. Every time was for that girl—Ah Li.

I had not seen her since that last time, and she certainly didn’t know that I, an untrustworthy guy, was receiving treatment in the same hospital as her.

She was mentally ill; I had cancer.

I couldn’t see her again, but I still didn’t forget to send her warm milk during the winter and a bouquet of roses every day. Later, my health was getting worse and worse again, so my sister delivered it for me.

There was one time when I went to deliver it myself and I met her grandmother. Her grandmother didn’t ask any questions, but said that these things could be handed over to her in the future.

I quickly said thank you and looked at the old but kind woman in front of me.

I said, “Thank you, I have always loved her.”

Her grandmother only said one thing to me:

“Good boy,  and thank you for loving my granddaughter.”

 

_

 

In the second year of my cancer, I heard that she had almost recovered from her illness and was admitted to a dance college.

When this illness said that she could live, then she really could live; and when it said that things would become worse immediately, then things would become worse at once.

I thought that she and I just could not risk it.

I said congratulations to her on Wechat and wrote a letter with the secret I had kept for four years. I simply thought she was that person. She must hate me now.  Ah Li was not a person who liked to look back. There was an extremely high chance that she would not read that letter.

As expected, she didn’t open the letter. I also completely lost contact with her. Chemotherapy made me suffer. My hair fell out and I was almost bald. If she saw me, I didn’t know whether she would laugh or cry to pieces.

 

_

 

In her first year in university, I sneaked into her school and secretly saw her. That was the year I met her future husband.

After seeing the guy follow Ah Li, I could see that this guy was not bad and kind by his embarrassed look.

I took the opportunity to get to know and block him, but then I found out that he was a good man. He never had a girlfriend, his family was very harmonious, and he was in good health…

Thus, I began to take this opportunity to help him chase Ah Li. It must be the most impulsive and unregrettable thing I had ever done. If I couldn’t be that person by her side, then could I personally see her happiness happen?

I began to encourage him to go after her bravely and told him what Ah Li liked and hated. Later, he chased her all the way to graduation, but this guy still did not succeed. Fortunately, he persisted enough because he liked her.

During those four years from when she was a freshman to a senior, I watched her turn into a real, warm sun. The corners of her lips finally had a smile. She looked really pretty when she smiled. I knew that she was better from her illness.

I saw that her parents would pick her up every holiday, and she would take her mother’s arm affectionately. They really looked like a family. Even if her parents would never remarry, she could still receive love.

After graduation, he was finally successful in chasing Ah Li. On the day of his successful confession, she said, “You look a lot like someone I know.” My eyelids suddenly twitched when I heard this sentence since I had brought it onto myself.

He asked what relationship that person had with her.

She said, “A friend.”

My sister pushed my wheelchair to the side and I hid myself. I saw tears and the rim of her eyes redden.

I suddenly felt no regrets, I knew that those tears were for me.

At this point, they were together. That man really loved her and was willing to go out with her.

He even had the courage to say, “I think you’ll fall in love with me.”

I saw Ah LI smiling, smiling very gently.

Ah Li, there was one more person who loved you. This time, I pushed that person to her myself.

 

_

 

Over the years, I watched her fall in love with the husband I personally sent to her side.

I watched her get ready for marriage and she asked me if I would come. I looked at my failing health. My mouth smelled like medicine when I spoke, and I knew what I was holding on for.

My doctors said that it was difficult for ordinary people to hold on for so long, but I wanted her to live and see her happiness.

I said I was sorry, I said I had something. I remembered how the lie that I had a girlfriend had not been exposed yet. Fortunately, my friends were reliable and only told her good things about me.

I watched her for so many years. I saw her step into the right paths with work and fall in love. I slowly began to stop taking those ineffective drugs. My illness was at an advanced stage.

A friend who knew the truth came to see me. I asked her to bring the red packet to Ah Li. She cried and looked at me with the way I looked, asking if it was worth it.

I could no longer say it. Even my muscles started to deteriorate, and I felt a lot of pain every night. I looked at the chat record of the WeChat account on my phone over and over again. I wished her a happy birthday on time every year.

I smiled when I thought of my friend’s question.

I thought, “It’s love. How can it not be worth it?” It’s just then that I understand those words.

There were ten thousand ways to love, and the last one was to let go.

 

_

 

On her wedding day, a friend sent a picture of her in a wedding dress. She was really beautiful, gentle, and stunning.

I knew what I wanted, and my sister scolded me for being sick, but I didn’t answer.

My parents came to see me. My father, who had always been unemotional, had some redness in the corners of his eyes.

I was a person who created love, and it was worth it to make it warm for a person in my life.

“Ah Li, tens of thousands of people want happiness. Take my piece of happiness and use it to go on living.”

I remembered that in those years I quietly went to the temple to pray for her happiness and peace, but I forgot to ask for a part of that for myself.

I didn’t know if the one holding your hand today would have been me if I had prayed.

That night, I pulled off the oxygen mask with the last strength of my body.

“Ah Li, see you in our next life.”

 

——————

 

Li:

Seeing the character to your name was like seeing you in person. I hope you can show me a beautiful smile.

Ah Li, you should not be the coward stuck in the dust. You should be the most passionate, warm sun, shining on me all my life.

Forgive me for not being the hope to keep living in your life. I am no longer the energetic teenager in your memory.

I don’t want you to see me like this. There are many years to come in the future, whether it is in the Yellow Springs1 or in our hometown. I also have these selfish thoughts.

If you can, when you completely let go of me, can you read this letter so that you know I once loved you?

Can you come to my grave and brush away the dirt for me?

I want to hear your voice and keep you safe.

“Li, in exchange for my next life and through any means, please let me meet you.”

With a healthy body.

 

—Extra End—


A Friend Who I Loved for a Long Time

A Friend Who I Loved for a Long Time

爱了很久的朋友
Score 7.4
Status: Completed Type: Author: Released: 2021 Native Language: Chinese
Ah Li, I will beg to the heavens so that you can live a bit longer. I will risk all my luck and my life. I am willing. —————— Ah Lin, marry me in our next life.One sentence summary: He only told me that he wanted me to live.

Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Options

not work with dark mode
Reset